Love, devastation, and its ugly intricacies!

The train was speeding in a tunnel, and so was something on my mind.

Thoughts snapping between extremes - yeses and nos, blacks and whites, darkness and light. 

So many of them, born as a tiny black dot, they keep getting bigger as they speed towards me. For all I could do was to dodge them.

As I opened my eyes and looked around, I saw people, and wondered how vast the unending depths of imagination could go? Each of them is consumed by patterns and spaces. They refuse to eliminate emotional fixations. Refuse to see within what their oblivion did to you, me or the world!

They do not make space, they create placeholders. Someone to sit next to, someone to hold hands, someone to tell sweet nothings, someone to feed on emotionally, someone to joke around with, someone to share their deepest darkest secrets with...

They do not give 100%, they just give as much as they can to keep the doors open. So they can swing by anytime they like. They call in love, but they meet you at a superficial level. They do fear the depths love brings, but like the way it sounds. 

The sound of love. How they say I am in 'love' and how they say I am now out of love.

Love, devastation, and its ugly intricacies!

Source: Neo Cha | The Importance of Ugly Art

Author's Note: We all work for the thing that we hold dear. We fight, throw tantrums, struggle to make it a success, we see it with a rose-tinted vision. We all have our own languages, and the moment someone comes close to figuring that out, we push them out. We hold our ugly intricacies dearer than the love someone held for us. 

Uncertain

Which place should I seek it
It snaps on my face
After a short duration
It bangs on me
Leaving me blank
And full of angst
Along comes a pain
A strong one right in my gut

Source: Google

And a stone hanging in my throat
Stopping me from breathing
And that is a reminder
Of when I lost the one I loved
Perhaps it was worst than it is today
And I have come this far
So I will survive this
In the face of uncertainty
I will breathe and float
Just breathe and not struggle
And get off to sleep
For tomorrow will be better
It will be a different day

Author's Note: When going gets tough, be easy on yourself!

Now...

Now...

Such a crisp and snappy word. It looks like a high speed vehicle about to accelerate in the endless roads. But at the moment it is standing on a highway, while I am standing on a pavement next to Now.

While Now is to leave, there are questions I have for Now to answer me right at this moment. But Now never stops, it moves like the seconds hand of a clock. And I have this something to make Now stay for some more time, converse about the random things that make Now wonder. Just as the random stuff that makes me think deep. Just a drop on a window pane has the power to make me think about the universe, or just wonder what that one decision I took would have led me where in the parallel world.

Perhaps I am a deep thinking, and so is Now. But Now's ways are a little different. Now speaks in moments, I speak in lengths.

I want all the answers now, Now answers me in bits and pieces.

Source - Google Image Search

Author's Note: I have become someone who wants to figure out stuff right now. Sleepy now, dozing off!

Tough Call for T | A to Z April 2016 Challenge

What is tougher - being with someone you don't love OR not being with someone you love. Both situations are mutually exclusive but both carry a hope. Develop love in first case or grow out of love in the later.

While uncomplicated we want lives to be we end up creating stop-over moments.

Such was the trouble, such was the agony of unanswered question and doubts that were not clarified before diving into deep dark waters. Only hope is to find something - a treasure, a mermaid or a companion who accepts you - know when you are about to suffocate and leads you to surface so you can just breath!

Author's Note: T from the archives... Yay. Just a week left to claim the challenge <3 p="">

Finding Toy for F | A to Z April 2016 Challenge

Damn you have not lost it as yet? Dude you are past that age when you could not find a girlfriend!, said John's concerned childhood buddy Ron.
Yes dude, what is the easiest way to get someone? questioned John.

Just tell her that you love her, and you will find your toy', said Ron and for the kind of man he was - that was one of the most honest replies. Sigh!

Author's Note: This is for men who treat women like objects and for women who just go by words. 

P.S.: Again from the saved drafts! Gosh I am so thankful for all the drafts I created! Sleepy now, dozing off~

Evil Eyes for E | A to Z April 2016 Challenge

Let's keep our love under shield from the evil eyes of this world. She said and left. It was the love that made her say that. She did not want to leave him. After a while, the door bell rang, and there she was back to whom she keeps telling to keep their love under wraps from the evil eyes of this world. It was a guilt that he asked her to stay. Else he would have broken her heart another time to be told that he has never been hers.

Source Google Search

Her mind screams.

Not for how he should be

But what love is suppose to feel like

Was it the evil eyes 

Or was it just not love

For all the eyes staring at them

Was it for the eyes that she stays

Or was it for her she was staying

Because at the back her mind was a constant question

Nagging her, screaming to come out loud

If evil eyes exist for the love she carried for him? 

Isn't true love meant to be so strong that it can overpower all evil? 

Was she with someone who would fight the evil eyes or would he leave again?

Author's Note: Back to topic of love, confusion and so on... Well how could I drift from this topic. It the something that keeps the world going (mostly make people get upside down). Again a draft makes way for my A to Z entry. #SuperBusyMe

Break Ups for B | A to Z April 2016 Challenge

We fail to see beauty in the so called imperfections.

I came across one of the most awkward reasons of breaking up. 

It was when someone told me that I broke up with my the then girlfriend after watching Om Shanti Om. I saw Deepika Padukone and I wanted someone like her. Not like the one who was sitting next to me when I was watching On Shanti On.

I was like, wait what? I was thinking about what the girl must have gone through on knowing the reason for her getting dumped. I felt a little sad for her and strongly believe that she deserved better. It was upsetting to me, because I have always believed that relationships are never about looks, they are about the connections you form with a person. However, I do not blame those who relate with this story because that's what is the major-i-tarian normal. 

Not all break ups are stupid, some are very well designed - reasons being inconsistency, disrespect, insensitivity, been taken for granted... The moment you sense it, move on! You do not deserve such treatment. 

Have you or someone you know ever broken up with someone for really odd reason? Drop it in comments.

Source - Google Image Search

Now I would like to come back to the topic. The break up reason was very immature. Or perhaps points at a shallow desire to get what we want rather than a mature approach of nurturing what we have. We are often not content with what we get and end up finding flaws in no matter how amazing connection we form out of our existing relationship. We hold on to past or certain traits we always wanted in the person we should be with - and some of them are physical. There we fall a victim of a vicious cycle of getting into it a new relationship and then falling out of it because the relationship-test did not go well. In that process we are not just selfish but cruel to those we leave behind. If someone protests ill-treatment we take it as a protest towards the way we are supposed to fall for someone. And object at someone being true to their individuality.

Oh no.. Thats now how it was meant to be. It was supposed to be someone with perfect fearutes, figure, and best a muted doll. No matter what a loser I am but the girl should be ideal. Or no matter how nosey the woman in the relationship is the guy should be naive. And we keep struggling with seeking acceptance of the society's shallow standards. Even if there are numerous moments of extremely beautiful connection. We end up bringing reasons to fall apart. 

Accept the person for what they are. 

Author's Note: Break ups are tough, but when they happen over immature reasons, the entire relationship appears to be a waste of time and effort! Well about this post, it was a day off but nonetheless busy. So I wrote it while on a metro ride. 

Waiting to read odd reasons to break up in the comments section...

My Imagination, Your Words

Look where we have come
This is far from what we planned
Afar from the reach of our imaginations
Pushed out of every possible connection
Of love, friendship, acquaintanceship or animosity
We can't place the blame on anything
Who what is it? Me, you or the circumstances
Oh no, we are those to pass our destiny to circumstances
We both refused to let them rule over us

And promised to stay true to our words
Each word of your promise were put together beautifully
Your carefully crafted words moved me
But later I learnt that you were skilled at it
To make fancy claims and justify them with a different story
It was not the one which ran in my head
Something that would surprise me unpleasantly

She was wide awake, a scream gets her out of her imagination. Her heart was pounding as she deciphered what was going on. There were men outside screaming as they spoke, it appeared that they were mocking at someone. Another scream full of vengeance. And mocking went up even higher, now she could hear women participating in a laugh riot. It did not amuse her, but got her blood gushing in anger - for what she thought was a riot turned out to be revelry, or the imagination from the past? Be it her imagination or the laugh riot, nothing was just as it seems. She was in a different world, she was in a different phase - she payed a visit to some beautifully crafted words!

XOXO (X on Day 24 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

A few X
To those I love
And a few more to those who love me
Some O to the best people I know
And Some more O to those who count me as one of best persons
Muahh and Hugs.. XOXO

Author's Note: Just genuine hugs and real kisses are all it takes to express your admiration for someone.

P.S.: XOXO for X - April 28, 2015. My twenty fourth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Taylor Swift Music - My Three Picks (T on Day 20 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

A to Z comes with me travelling. Last year I was in Udaipur and this time I am in ..... make a guess or you know already.

Yes I am travelling and will get back next week :)

Travel and Music are the best things in the world. Poof! I forgot Chocolate, Pizza, Movies and People who love you unconditionally!

Before I get and soak myself in the scenic beauty, leaving you with my top three picks of Taylor Swift. If you love music, you cannot fail to notice her.

Author's Note: Before packing my bags, I packed the Music. Taylor Swift is one of my favourite people.
Share your top picks by TS or anyone you adore.

P.S. Taylor Swift Music - My Three Picks for T - April 23, 2015.

My twentieth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

P.P.S.: Gary Lightbody is cute

Video Links - Youtube

Splurging on a Sweet Mystery (S on Day 19 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

I splurge on
Things mysterious
Nothing normal
Tempts me

Except for
Polo tees
And basic jeans
What your you?
Were you basic or mysterious?
I splurged on you
I forgot the golden rule
That you were to be nurtured first
And then exploited to be spoiled
You made home in my mind
As a sweet mystery for a lifetime
I often visit those mysterious encounters
And I keep knocking on the entrance
Those doors never open
Basic or not, you have been classic
And I have been spoiled.
While splurging on a sweet mystery

Author's Note: Just think about when I say splurge, what do you think I am talking about?

We humans are complex - biologically, physically, psychologically, intellectually and philosophically. We splurge in love, or we are miser in Love. 

P.S.: Splurging on a Sweet Mystery for S - April 22, 2015. My nineteenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Image Source: Google Search

Raw Rugged Rowdy (R on Day 18 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

Howdy,
Your worldly dreams
Are raw, rugged and rowdy
You fail to receive gracefully
Two words of sheer kindness
For those who care
They ignore your venom
Or let it seep into them
Because they don't want to cause you hurt

But you, my boy
You don't care, do you?
You keep spilling venom
And you are in love with it
Holding it close and
Scared to let go of it
As if two words of love
Will make you less of a King
As if empathy could make you less of a warrior

Let me tell you a story about a man who did just what you do. He was rude, rowdy and rugged. He started it when he was a child and no one stopped him. People called him a leader, a king in the making. But no one befriended him and everyone was scared of his wrath. Those who did not fear him, were brought to the terms to being scared of him. And he was surrounded by only those who accepted him. He never let anyone who would make himself question of mend his ways stand next to him.

In his mind he was a King, and he waited for someone who would accept him for what he is. He waited for love, but he could not wait the wait. So he let go of it, hurting those who would want to be with him. This only made him bitter, because his only accomplice is his anger. And now he was bored of his anger, he rarely smiled and those who came to his service were just boring yes-men. They were boring because their yeses were not out of love or care, they were out of fear. Fear of your anger.

Author's Note: Reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. Yes many of us let that bad thing, anger or guilt consume us. We don't care who we smash in the process of feeding onto our anger. We only end up losing those who truly cared. And in the end just carry a guilt, why did I fail to see? Why did I fail to mend? Was anger that precious than those precious moments?

P.S.: Raw Rugged Rowdy for R - April 21, 2015. My eighteenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Image Source: Google Search

Opaque Feelings (O on Day 15 of A to Z Challenge 2015).

Bottled up,
stocked in,

bolted and

fermenting.

No way out

to vent it,

all ends here

at the circular

glass edges.

They do not
come out 

and keep 

moving in 

circles.

What was 

fresh, jubilant

and fragrant

is now
piling venom.

It is rotting 

and stinking
in paucity
of  love.

It is turning 

into piles of

abundant 

nothingness

and opacity.

Author's Note: When intense feelings are messed with they turn opaque. One who feels too much will end up growing opacity of feelings and one who messed it will keep looking for breaking past the opacity.

Don't know who messed more and who felt more - the one who loved or the one who could get distant.

P.S.: Opaque Feelings for O - April 17, 2015. My fifteenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Image source: Google Search

Magical Moments (M on Day 13 of A to Z Challenge 2015).

Magical is when you call my name.
More magical is when you call me by the nick name you gave me.

Magical are moments when you smile at what I say.
And I don't see it, I magically sense it.

Magical are times when I miss you.
And you flash at me.

Magical is when you just knw what you have to say to calm a storm in me.
Or bring me to moments that have to be storming in me.

You are magical to me.



Author's Note: Love is magical, you cannot control it. So better get going with it.

And be with someone who feels you are magical! Someone who protects, preserves and makes you a better person.

P.S.: Magical Moments for M - April 15, 2015. My thirteenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Image source: Google

Love Rests in Duality (L on Day 12 of A to Z Challenge 2015).

They say opposites attract. I still don't know if we are opposites or similar.

I totally find myself swayed by him. Sometimes being pulled towards him and sometimes being asked to drift away. It is not that I don't do this to him. I do the same, not with a revengeful intent. My conundrum of emotions and his debate of logic bring us to a middle ground. Our duality fit into each other's perfect imperfections. We are on the same sides and we are the warriors. Even when we are deeply in love, we are on a war.

And that's Love!

Love rests in duality and leaving you with this song:

Author's Note: This topic took me long, to form an idea and to bring together my thoughts. Don't really know why it happened, either I am exhausted with the challenge or I hold love too dear to be easily expressed through words. I failed at penning a story, I have my thoughts in place and it will appear on my blog soon. 

P.S.: Love Rests in Duality for L- April 14, 2015. My twelvth post for the A to Z April Challenge.

Masked Facade

Being novice
Or are you shutdown
Of those notions

Source: Google Search

That do the rounds
When the lovers meet
On dark midnight

Being lazy
Or are you waiting
Of the facade
That reads of hope
When time is ripe
On moonlit night

Being twisted
Or are you aware
Of her wanting
That she will give up
When you tell her
On words wrapped in lies

Author's Note: We give acceptable names to not so acceptable facets of our personality! You put a mask carry tiny bit of everything so that all may approve of what you show them. 

Twisted Obsession

That wound
He scrached
Hoping the pain
To come back

Source: Google Search

And the pieces
Of her heart
Will only want
To be picked up
And glued together
It only hurts
She got better
At bearing the pain
Of betrayal
And wanting
Of his twisted
Mind and her
Inability to look
Beyond what she
Kept right in front
Of her eyes
Just looking at it
And hoping
It will happen
Magically
That he was not
That twisted
And she was not
Obsessed anymore!

Author's Note: Just like the Unicorn, he was mystical! Just like a hopeless, she was romanticised! 

My kind of #KissOfLove

Will I stare at a kissing couple? No.

Will I be bothered if someone stares at a kissing couple? No.

Will I protest against someone who stares at a kissing couple? No.

Will I be upset if someone attacks or physically injures a kissing couple? Yes.

Will I protest against someone who attacks a kissing couple? Yes.

And here is my kind of Kiss Of Love protest: 

Bob Dylan - The Times They Are a-Changin'

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land

And don't criticize

What you can't understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is

Rapidly agin'.

Please get out of the new one

If you can't lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin'.

Author's Note: Will I kiss in public or not? Well I abstain you from discussing what you hold right for me. And as for as you are concerned, here is what I want you to know: 

Kiss if you must, I will not harm you.
Kiss if you must, I will not sexual-ise it.
Kiss if you love, I will not demonize love.

P.S.: The core thought is whether you will pop your eyes when you see two people Kiss!

Complicating Love

Source - Google Search

We can talk about it later, we have all the time. Why do you want to spoil the day? he asked while answering the question - I think you like being melodramatic.

She was enraged, melodramatic was a strong word. He was as calm as still waters as if he did not say anything offensive. From the very beginning, it was impossible for her to read his mind. For her who could read anyone's mind within a span of few seconds, her sense was turned blind when he was the one. His face never invited her judgement, it was non conditional feeling that numbed her mind.

I do not ask anything other than a yes or a no, she said while looking right in his eyes.

He was quite, his eyes did not reveal anything. After a long uncomfortable silence, he said, saying either is not as simple as it sounds.

She left with a broken heart and managed to hide her tears. She did not want to explain to him the basic concept of love. She hoped to be wanted by him, not as a person who can make his day but as a companion who could sweep him away.

Author's Note: Love is not complicated, people are. 

P.S.: It is okay to get your heart broken, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find that prince charming. (wink)

Perks of falling in love with the wrong person

Many of you will relate to this topic, because at one time or the other we have all been head over heels for the wrong one. Some of us were stuck in for longer than recommended. This recommended duration comes from people who ask you how could you be with him for so long?

The good times you have had with someone you love was the reason you were together, count the bad times - those were not meant to be there.

Source: http://ih2.redbubble.net

But there are some perks to it, so if you curse yourself for being with that jerk for longer than you should have, read on:

The battle of Love Quotations and Love Rules 

Those fancy love quotations are just for those real love stories, they are not the rules of relationship.
The only rules of a love relation is respect for each other, for yourself and for the two of you. The moment that balance is let lose the relationship will fall. Now when you will be in that cursing mode, remember that you have learnt your lesson and have to find that person who possesses real qualities, reciprocates your admiration, accepts you and both of you have mutual respect.

You found out where exactly you went wrong

Being let down repeatedly by him/her and accepting it was wrong on your part.
If you are the one sobbing right now, the chances of you being taken for granted are higher. And if that is the case, then you may also narrate endless incidents about what you did for him/her. Yes there would have been situations where the other one would have reciprocates, but to no match. So you might have realized how powerfully truthful was that little voice in your head.

You learn that you are the center of your world

Your dreams about going for a vacation with him/her are yet to be realized. May be you have also dreamt about your kids, a happy family, et al. And you have held that idea so dear to you that you cannot just let it go. Now you know that nothing will count if the other person is the wrong one. Now you know those red flag situations and will not fall prey to such tricks in life ever and say NO when required.

Once you will clear the clutter in your head, you will get over the fear of unknown, and accept yourself completely. Display the spirit of Dew - Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai (victory lies ahead what you fear).

Author's Note: So that little or long relationship experiment was over (had it been a successful relationship, I would have termed it relationship investment), you know yourself better. Your illusions would have been clear by now and ultimately you will have no time and energy to curse him/her and leave it on karma for hurting you.

P.S: When you were with that wrong person and someone asked you why you love him and her, can you recall your answer? Tell me in the comment box.