Finding Toy for F | A to Z April 2016 Challenge

Damn you have not lost it as yet? Dude you are past that age when you could not find a girlfriend!, said John's concerned childhood buddy Ron.
Yes dude, what is the easiest way to get someone? questioned John.

Just tell her that you love her, and you will find your toy', said Ron and for the kind of man he was - that was one of the most honest replies. Sigh!

Author's Note: This is for men who treat women like objects and for women who just go by words. 

P.S.: Again from the saved drafts! Gosh I am so thankful for all the drafts I created! Sleepy now, dozing off~

Choice Debate Settled - #MyChoice (C on Day 3 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

I have always believed that fights over gender roles crush individuality.

As a society we end up creating segments in our minds man-woman, male-female and girl-boy. Thus #HerChoice and #HisChoice was created.

I am referring to "My Choice" Directed By Homi Adajania - Vogue Empower that features Deepika Padukone and 98 other women.

And a vast number of people have taken offensive exception to the line - sex outside marriage, my choice. The purpose to urge patriarchy to recognize that women have a choice too, has lost in fiery debates crying over. Men (and other societal forces) went bonkers with fear that their 'property' could sleep outside of marriage. It is sad that the society wants to take control of our choices. But there are many of us who refuse to make small, big, everyday life's decisions based on societal perception of right and wrong. We challenge ourselves out of a rut the society has created. We fight - our families, friends and silent onlookers.

A friend aptly puts the crux of this debate - The short film is simply a note that - stop manipulating a woman, they are equally capable of making their own choices and a man (society) strictly has no right to dominate her decisions. 

Caption:
Before being categorized under a gender, we are all individuals

We may get killed us if we show dissent and we see it in the name of 'Honour'. People (read Society) are scared that Deepika's followers might take her comments seriously and follow her and not use a mind of their own. This debate makes me wonder if you (read Society) as a parent doubt your (read Societal) upbringing. Because out of all the years you (read Society) have associated with your (read Societal) child, a less than three minute video can change?

If we grow up our kids to have a mind of their own, to distinguish between the right and wrong then it must not bother us.

If you are scared that youngsters will be trapped - then
A. Keep your upbringing strong
B. Allow them to make mistakes, they will be wiser.

Society, your flawed upbringing laced with morally righteous is hollow. You are being hypocrites, sexists, misogynists by shamming Deepika's acceptance to the concept of open marriages. Because if she does or anybody does, it is between those involved in the matrimonial setup.

A woman faintly hinting at open marriage is not acceptable and men (read Society) fear losing their dearly held 'property' (read Women) to someone. 

If it is a man - it is manly, and when it is a woman it is a whorish?

Society, it shakes our double standards - be it Deepika or a non celebrity we all have to have the liberty of opinion.

Let's settle the Choice debate with an individualistic message #MyChoice, applicable equally to all (Men, Women, Other).

Author's Note: When we ask for a just (gender neutral) society, we are tagged as Fem Nazis. Feminism is taken in wrong spirits by many. I am not blaming all men, so before someone comments here that all men are not the same, let's not forget that even all women are not the same. Allow us to be. Period.

Don't start the Indian Sanskriti Drama, you make it look ugly not just to me but to the world. 

P.S.: Choice Debate Settled - #MyChoice for C - April 3, 2015. My third post for the A to Z April Challenge.

India's Daughter Disowns You. #NirbhayaBraveheart

You teach everyone that it is okay to treat me secondary as
You served him four and mine were counted till two.
You stopped me from eating beyond three and
You said that girls look pretty only when slim and lean.
You got me only dolls when I wanted to play with all, that's when
You told me with conviction that I must choose not what I want.

You said that I need to be ready right when I was a kid
You insisted everyday that I only cook, garden, sow and clean.
You taught me to put up a smiling face when I am in pain and
You label me impure for those three day because I menstruate.
You told me to cover up as I grew towards teens, that's how
You told me that I need to conceal what I have.

You groomed me and it seemed to be getting ready for a war
You did not raise a soldier but a victim of that war.
You saved for not my big day but your big day when
You were to dissociate with me to garner ritualistic praises.
You did wrong and I unlearned all your teachings, so while
You said getting slapped get me out of trouble, I ended up beating blue them all.

29 December - National Shame Day (India)

I (India's Daughter) request you to disown me because I refuse to be your definition of a girl, woman, lady...
To such an India, Am I India's Daughter - I am no more, I disown you!

Source: Google Search

Author's Note: Nirbhaya is not ashamed, it is you who call me your daughter - you are ashamed! 

Stop dragging a brave-heart in your filthy conversations. No one, no statements and no act can bring disgrace to her. That act cannot be undone, and many such acts happen across India, when India quietly prepares its daughters for the war!

Background: There is an outcry following statement made in 'India's Daughter', a BBC Storyville documentary by British filmmaker Leslee Udwin by Mukesh Singh, driver of the bus in which the rape took place. He said Decent girl won't roam around at 9 o'clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy is. Boys and girls are not equal. Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night or wearing wrong clothes. About 20% of girls are good. The rape and beatings were to teach the young woman and her friend a lesson that they should not have been out late at night.

INDIA's DAUGHTER is the story of the short life, and brutal gang rape and murder in Delhi in December 2012 of an exceptional and inspiring young woman. The rape of the 23 year old medical student by 6 men on a moving bus, and her death, sparked unprecedented protests and riots throughout India and led to the first glimmers of a change of mindset. Interwoven into the story line are the lives, values and mindsets of the rapists whom the film makers have had exclusive and unprecedented access to interview before they hang. The film examines the society and values which spawn such violent acts, and makes an optimistic and impassioned plea for change.

(Source: IMDB)

In Solidarity with Perumal Murugan

What I saw was what pained me.
It was a huge mass of accumulated fodder.
I was forced to swallow an unwelcoming hospitality.
As a guest to them I had to gobble a filthy dish.
I took my leave, held my breath and ran away.
But that mass wanted to get out of me.
Pushing out through my esophagus.
A dish laced with morality, deity and priests.
Was causing a suffocating nauseating sensation.
Pinching me inside of me like nails.
Hammering on the inside of my skin.
I threw up and they were words.
Simply a permutation and combination.
Of 26 alphabets and two punctuation.
My words pinched them.
But their bullying, abuses and threats broke me.
I tried to hide those words, the books and everything.
And now I let those words cause me pain.
I die everyday.

Source: Google Search

P.S: This is in solidarity with Perumal Murugan, a Tamil Author bullied by right wing activists for a controversial novel, gave up his writing career.

Read Who 'killed' Indian author Perumal Murugan?

Author's Note: Come ahead and show your solidarity for a land of law. 
Sign petition here>> http://chn.ge/1CqK2Es 

Bring your support to ask
‪#‎WhoKilledPansare‬ 
#‎WhoKilledDabholkar‪ 
#WhoKilledWriterMurugan 
#‎StandUpWithMurugan‬ 
#‎WeWantJustice‬

Queen is what the Queen does!

I bring to you opinions of a guest on my blog - Anupriya Karmakar. She has some special observations to share on Queen! (the Movie). Here is her post:

This year saw several woman centric movies. Some struggled at the box office and were off the cineplexes in a jiffy (Gulab Gang, Bobby Jasoos, Revolver Rani), while others managed to garner rave reviews (Highway, Mary Kom, Mardani). For me this year belonged to Queen.

What I loved about this movie was that it was such a simple story made with sheer honesty. A perfect blend of emotions, fun, and serious messages said in a moderate tone. Never did I feel it was trying to preach anything yet it left a great impact. While many of you may have different memories from the movie, I personally have kept a few with me. Forever.

Go on a trip alone: Rani, the protagonist, decides to go for her honeymoon all by herself. To many of us it may seem bizarre but that’s what we all need – a trip alone. Being a woman, especially in India, we all are warned even to think of travelling alone. No matter how liberal our parents are. ‘Akeli ladki’ (Lone woman) are just some words that have been haunting us for ages. All we end up doing is calling up a bunch of disinterested friends who have unending excuses.

Make your backpack your companion. Whether going through a tough phase or not – just head out!

Let first impressions not impair your judgments: During her trip to Paris and Amsterdam Rani meets and befriends new people. Not only she gets close to people from different cultural backgrounds but makes new ‘male’ friends – something she would have never thought of.

At times we are quick to form an opinion about a new person. Our actions are ruled by what we think of that person. But we forget it’s not always the time that decides how well we know someone.

Don’t wash dirty linen in public: There’s just one instance when Rani gets sloshed in Paris and bares her heart out to Vijaylaxmi. However, when her friends in Amsterdam get into a brawl with her ex/fiancé, she clearly tells them to stay out.

No matter how much damage a person does to your feelings, it’s more dignified when you choose not to humiliate or try giving them a dosage of their own medicine in front of others. Respect is something that can elevate or tear someone apart with equal intensity.

Unleash the wild within you: Rani is a naïve girl, who even after being in a relationship is shown to have never French-kissed. She meets a stranger,Marcello, in Amsterdam and accepts his challenge to prove Indian style of kissing is the best by kissing him. She goes out to night-clubs and dances her heart out – something her fiancé had forbidden her from indulging in.

It’s sometimes good to let your hair down and just have a good time. The point made is not getting intimate with a stranger. That’s at your own discretion! ;)

Give your passion a chance: Thanks to Marcello that Rani gets to explore her hidden culinary skills and impresses the visitors at a fair with her desi Indian snack – GolGuppa. At first what it seemed as a failure, turns out a huge hit among the foreigners.

There’s no such thing as the perfect time to do what you like doing. It’s therapeutic when you want to break from the mundane.

The movie holds a special place in my heart. For starters: It’s my first movie alone in a theatre! Being a person conscious of the way I conduct myself in public (well, most of the times), the thought of watching a movie and reacting emotionally, all by myself, was nerve-racking. What if the stranger sitting next to you thinks you’re a retard? For me movie-watching is an experience that’s best enjoyed in the company of others. That’s just my personal viewpoint. I need another post to state the reasons. Anyway, thanks to a friend who ditched me at the last moment – for vaild professional reasons, of course (obviously I would never buy a ticket for just myself in the first place), I got to enjoy a wonderful piece of cinema, irrespective of who sat beside me that day.

As Rani took her final majestic walk after meeting her fiancé in the end, that’s how I felt on my way back after watching the movie – in my own little way with my own little achievement!

Author's Note: I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Shine for sharing her space on the blog with me and, most importantly, for encouraging me to write a blog post after ages.

P.S.: Thank you Anupriya! I hope you be a recipient of happy hospitality on my blog. You deserve a double thank you - for writing the post and helping with quite a few images - that makes me want to visit the movie again.

Photo Credit: Google Search

Blessed

Life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans. It is when we are trying to understand if we are a unicorn, mermaid, dragon or batman, but the reality is that we are we, and not a fictitious character.

While being high on Sex And The City, I cannot help but wonder (pun intended) what is all that fuss about a single women in New York? I have my own share of stories coming right from the horse's mouth - a single woman in New Delhi.

So if you are a writer - by profession and passion, just as I am, what is it that you are looking for? Here's are the few important ones:

- First thing that I look for is my mobile. It is not like school anymore, when my parents use to shout - get up you are getting late. You have to take responsibility of getting up in time. Parents are always a back up when you mistakenly cancel your alarm, when you meant to snooze it.
- The next thing I look for in the morning is not my tooth brush. It is recollecting which day is it and how far is the weekend. How much time can I take out for myself today. And if it is a weekday, the answer is zilch minute!


It makes me come to think about the 24 hour clock, in which we have to catch up with work, commute to work, stretch at work, eat at work, and work work work! Still the work never gets done, we always have a to do list for a tomorrow at work. You get home, to find your mom with a detailed account of how did her day go. And all you do is listen while of-course working on your laptop. And hello it is not that work work, it is your personal work. Remember that pending internet bill, or the mobile bill that you will have to pay online. I am sure we do it while having our dinner. By the time your mom tosses off to sleep, after feeling ignored and not complaining about it, you have your best friend. And here's that call - you could be super busy - but you know that you need it. You need to hear that voice and that you are blessed to have it!

Author's Note: This one is dedicated especially to those late night, cheerfully joyous calls. Love you my special people and all my friends.

Love at first sight

Do you believe it? Some agree that it happens and some don't. Something that clicks. Something that tell you that this is what you have always been wanting! Love at first sight....

Well love at first sight is something that I will be able to discus once I fall in love. The single hood that I have been relishing is compelling me to define what love at first sight would be? Anyways follow this instance and help me to come to a conclusion!

TO READ THE COMPLETE STORY CLICK HERE!! 

DMRC and the Women's Coach

It came as a blessing in disguise! All the ladies were happy that they will have a comfortable journey. The coach is comparitively less crowded. But, I was particularly upset about a ladies coach, considering that I would not be able to catch a glimpse of hunks around... It was rare to spot a hunk though! As time passed I realised that the ladies coach has more reasons to be upset about. 

I started getting use-to the comfort, and finally away from the uncomfortable gaze of those unpleasant men,who find it macho to pass that knowingly unknowing gesture. I remember fighting back, where the entire gamut of men reply, lar ke aayee hai ghar se (she must have fought with her family memebers)! or Kuch to nahi kiya usne madam (he did not do anything, Madam). or the guy hinself shouts  maine to kuch nahi kiya, kya kiya maine bolo? (I did not do anything, what did I do? can you tell me?) Yes I do tell them, I reply back, wanting to paste a tight slap on their faces.. Now, women are away from those insensible lot.

But don't assume that girls are good either. Its equally uncomfortable to listen to those aunties and and tolerate those ill-mannered girls, who refuse to move in to accommodate those standing on the platform, keep commenting about thenew generation girl-kind and what not! More so is the tendency to not letting others to deboard, but howling inside the train. No one is willing to leave their seat at the sight of an old lady. Men hoard inside the coach, and when you confront them, they fight back. there is no mechanism to complain about such lot. 

And what about the general compartment! The decent men are offended, and the other lot has garnered a licence to misbehave. The moment you get off the train, they try and brush off, as if now that they have been segmented, they have every right to misbehave. If at all a female enters, they start taunting them that they should get into the women coach. Huh!!!

Also about those who were punished to sit-up for some 50 times or so.. That was all the more disgusting act. What makes the authorities to humiliate the violators of law, what can allow them to punish them do such an embarrassing act? OK, so they have got inside the women coach, but then don't we have decent ways to punish, charge fine, or whatever?

Why segment the two genders? Isn't it socially challenging us and a tendency wherein the two equal parts of nature should be sensitised to behave and travel cordially?

Author's Note: Now the authorities are planning to add two more coaches to the trains, lets see how the six coach fare! Also there would be a connectivity between Mandi House and Central secretriat,  promising plans but humiliating Crowd Management Strategy... Sigh!

Matrimony - The height of Materialism!

Matrimonial alliances in India (read Delhi) is the typical examples of materialism! Everything, right from the food, baarat, shaadi, exchange of gifts - the thin line that segments dowry, etc. should happen King sized. The sacred institutions puts the matrimonial alliances as paramount! A typical matrimonial alliance is initaited with social status, income and in some cases education! Family background, the spouses of prospective siblings also matter and finds place in the bio-data. 

Once the proposal has been fixed, each of the party try to exhibit their superiority by pegging the maximum gifts, displaying it to the guests to gauge maximum praises. Gift are being extended in 'cash or kind' to even the insignificant relatives. They look out for opportunities and occasions to gift.  And not to forget mentioning each splurging spree should be clicked in the camera. 

Now comes the functions close to the wedding day! The elderly of the family will be the cashier, as s/he would be taking stock of cash transactions. Everything is being done with a bang, be it the Mehendi ceremony or the afternoon lunch. While the families come across as anti-dowry (which means that the groom side will not demand cash on the wedding day)! 


All the demands would be however conveyed through loug mouthed relatives, and such gifts can follow after the wedding day. The girls family makes sure that at least a car is being gifted to the groom. While the groom expects that at least a flat in upmarket location should come along with the wagon. 

Baarati's are high on liquor and shoot a cracker in air announcing their arrival. The Ghori wala during this time analyses the worth of allowing the groom to get down from the horse and asks for a hefty amount. This amount is not paid and the ghoriwala is being given anything between 200-500 bucks, or 1 grand in exceptional cases!

Now comes the bride loaded with heavy jewellery and embellished with a gorgeous lehenga. Not just the bride, all the girls attending the wedding are dressed in heavy attire as if their price charming will ride her away on the day!

Not to forget mentioning that the groom already had a girlfriend, but no guts to stand up for his love given the social status / threat of being excluded from the family etc. He had considered eloping with her girlfriend, but an arranged setup sounded good as he feels that he cannot give her everything. He is also lured into an arranged matrimonial alliance on the unsaid assumption that the girl he is getting married to belongs to a rich family and she should get good amount of gifts throughout her life!

Author's Note: Many guys are waiting for a huge bonanza in the form of such gifts. This at times makes me feel bad for the society. Really guys do, even those who seem decent, but such hypocrisy surmounts ! 

Feminism need not be male bashing~

No more male bashing, uttering the F*** word each time she is irritated with the biases that revolve around gender. Feminism is more about understanding the problems that out society has bred, and correcting the same.

I am also a feminist, but I don't hold men redundant. Men have their own special role in this world. The hypothesis that stem cell research have held men redundant will remain a hypothesis! But I hate the psyche of some segment of men, who think that its their birth right to think that they have all the knowledge in the  world to decide how society should function. Thankfully I am brought up in a setup where I had minimal encounter on gender issues, and thus I feel that I am able to judge it better.

This takes me to a few observations, and the foremost is Dibakar Banerjee's Love Sex aur Dhokha (LSD) . Movies are no big formula, they come out of the society, similarly LSD revolves around three stories, and I wish to quote the first where a couple elopes, gets married and the family accepts them. Later it is investigated that that the boy and the girl had been smashed, cut into pieces and found by the police in a plastic bag.

The second issue over feminism here is the fuss over Women Reservation bill. The first question that clicks my mind is do we in this century need a women reservation bill, and that too which limits the participation of women to 30%?

Third one being, criticizing women drivers. Its been ages that I have been observing women driving pretty well, but unfortunately I still find people commenting that women cannot drive well.. huh!

The point I wish to make here is that over ages we see people speaking on awareness, woman's rights, raise voice against harassment / bad mouthing. For how long do we have to move on with such tendencies. It should come as something inherit in the society, but it seems otherwise! I understand that newspapers are acting as chaos mongers, but they do bring the true picture, we still read on dowry deaths, unsafe Delhi and what not! I do still find eve teasers often, for how long should I fight? I am tired of it, but they are not!

Author's Note: Yes I am angry and I hate this biased, unjust and uncivilized society!

Happy Women's Day

A few points to note this year on Women's Day, but before I starting typing them down, lemme be a bit generous to wish all the ladies out there a very Happy Women's Day. For me the best women are my moma, sisters, and all my lady friends!

Well has it been really 'a Happy day'? Let me outline the first one as UN Asia-Pacific Human Development Report. The report brings forth that the condition of women worse in Asia, as compared to the rest of the world. The report also outlines that women earn less as compares to their male counterparts. The report's concern with the absence of a female voice in the Asia-Pacific’s political systems was strengthened by the harassment of Indian Vice President Hamid Ansari with torn pieces of women's reservation bill of 30% in parliament in the Upper House of parliament. The first thought that crossed my mind was are these bunch ill-mannered of people holding seats at Rajya Sabha? I am sure I am gonna cast my vote under section 49(O) for the coming few years.

The first Oscar award to a lady director, Kathryn Bigelow for her movie 'The Hurt Locker' . This certainly an achievement! Anything that comes first at Oscars makes news, be it Rehman being the first India to fetch an award, or Bollywood movies like Laagan, Taare Zameen Par getting nominated under an insignificant category. But on retrospection, was their really no even a single women director worthy of the Academy Awards (known as Oscars) whose 1st ceremony took place way back in 1929. Is it only after close to 81 editions that someone could qualify for it?

Author's Note: For me, I acknowledged that its the Women's day only after I wished a colleague Happy Birthday and wished me Happy Women's Day. Then another friend calling up to wish! Late at night my college sweetheart messaged me, it was then that I felt that all the significant ladies have to be wished, and I quickle bulk sms'd to them!

PS: I don't think that women need a day to convey that we can do it better, be it the parliament, Oscars, Household or corporate!