Friday 3 April 2015

Choice Debate Settled - #MyChoice
(C on Day 3 of A to Z Challenge 2015)

I have always believed that fights over gender roles crush individuality.

As a society we end up creating segments in our minds man-woman, male-female and girl-boy. Thus #HerChoice and #HisChoice was created.

I am referring to "My Choice" Directed By Homi Adajania - Vogue Empower that features Deepika Padukone and 98 other women.

And a vast number of people have taken offensive exception to the line - sex outside marriage, my choice. The purpose to urge patriarchy to recognize that women have a choice too, has lost in fiery debates crying over. Men (and other societal forces) went bonkers with fear that their 'property' could sleep outside of marriage. It is sad that the society wants to take control of our choices. But there are many of us who refuse to make small, big, everyday life's decisions based on societal perception of right and wrong. We challenge ourselves out of a rut the society has created. We fight - our families, friends and silent onlookers.

A friend aptly puts the crux of this debate - The short film is simply a note that - stop manipulating a woman, they are equally capable of making their own choices and a man (society) strictly has no right to dominate her decisions. 

Before being categorized under a gender, we are all individuals

We may get killed us if we show dissent and we see it in the name of 'Honour'. People (read Society) are scared that Deepika's followers might take her comments seriously and follow her and not use a mind of their own. This debate makes me wonder if you (read Society) as a parent doubt your (read Societal) upbringing. Because out of all the years you (read Society) have associated with your (read Societal) child, a less than three minute video can change?

If we grow up our kids to have a mind of their own, to distinguish between the right and wrong then it must not bother us.

If you are scared that youngsters will be trapped - then
A. Keep your upbringing strong
B. Allow them to make mistakes, they will be wiser.

Society, your flawed upbringing laced with morally righteous is hollow. You are being hypocrites, sexists, misogynists by shamming Deepika's acceptance to the concept of open marriages. Because if she does or anybody does, it is between those involved in the matrimonial setup.

A woman faintly hinting at open marriage is not acceptable and men (read Society) fear losing their dearly held 'property' (read Women) to someone. 
If it is a man - it is manly, and when it is a woman it is a whorish?

Society, it shakes our double standards - be it Deepika or a non celebrity we all have to have the liberty of opinion.

Let's settle the Choice debate with an individualistic message #MyChoice, applicable equally to all (Men, Women, Other).

Author's Note: When we ask for a just (gender neutral) society, we are tagged as Fem Nazis. Feminism is taken in wrong spirits by many. I am not blaming all men, so before someone comments here that all men are not the same, let's not forget that even all women are not the same. Allow us to be. Period.

Don't start the Indian Sanskriti Drama, you make it look ugly not just to me but to the world. 

P.S.: Choice Debate Settled - #MyChoice for C - April 3, 2015. My third post for the A to Z April Challenge.


  1. Neatly put :) I do agree to your points on upbringing and gender neutrality. But we cannot refude the fact that celebrities can influence the minds to an extent. But yes, the context of Deepika's point was defeated with negative perception. Even when I thought of writing about C, this topic came to mind and I was sure that some people would pick it. However, I chose a different one as you know. Looking forward to your D. Stay in touch :)

    1. Yes Malavikka - I agree that we cannot refute the fact that celebrities impact society, they must make a responsible statement. Deepika in this case made a responsible statement but the orthodox elements could pick just one bit of it.
      Our orthodox society bashed celebrities and dig holes are the ones who follow violent double standard principles.
      Check this >>
      Yogi Adityanath’s (BJP party Member) Men Telling Hindus To “Rape Dead Muslim Women
      Link -
      I can dig a number of such statements by political figures. They portray a shallow thinking.
      I come out strongly against such double standards because it enrages me. Because these people have a support base of mob (people who can be influenced easily into killing and vandalizing). I hope I am able to convey here that local leaders with orthodox mindset are more dangerous than celebrities who act as mere change agents.
      On a lighter note, let the youth take the liberty of making mistakes, it is their choice. What appears to be a mistake to someone could be a normal act to others - let them decide for themselves. I hope we leave (and even be a part of) a world of hope, love, tolerance and acceptance.Thanks for stopping by.
      Too long response.. I feel strongly against these hate mongers yaar!

  2. Hello interesting thoughts and a very compelling video (wow, 98 women!). I love to be strong and have my own opinions! Good luck in your month of A to Z!

    1. The video is compelling!
      Being strong and fearless is important for everyone. No one should be bogged down under control of others.
      Thanks for stopping by :)


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