I have red hair, but I don't have blue eyes and hence you are in double minds to take this ahead. I do not fit into your ideal version of me. And I forgot to see if you do fit into my ideal version of me. All that while I had been working to get you to accept me for my black eyes. But your rock heart did not budge, you failed to see beyond the material beauty and you ended up breaking me.
I am calling it off. I dissociate with you because I have had it enough of ranting and chanting your concepts of when to wake up, when to sleep and when to eat. I have come to terms with the fact that conformity to your standards is below my dignity and sanity. It was lately that I realized the threshold of my tolerance, and it has been stupid of my and my folks to have been ranting and chanting your concepts. You started when I was a kid, and you still mess with my head.
Remember the times when I was hurt, you did not console me. You came up with your famous adage - I Told You So. You did not allow me to make my own mistakes and learn from them. You did lend me a listening ear, but you listened more to judge me than to empathize with me. You did not leave a chance to belittle me for innocent mistakes I made. Never did I intend to hurt you, but you miraculously made it sound like that. I started living for your approval, and forgot who am I in real.
You fit in my plan of a perfect life, but now I will trail the path without any plans. I am somebody who is bejeweled with my set of perfect imperfections. I look for no one who does not love my ornamentation. So rather than struggling everyday for your acceptance, I quit. I will survive without you because searching acceptance in your eyes everyday is getting killed in anticipation. So from today, stating just now, I quit, I am calling it quit. I quit allowing your double standards to mess with my mind.
Author's Note:
I quit deciding where to go. Have accepted not knowing where I am going.
"And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” – C. Joybell
P.S.: Quit, am Calling it Quit! for Q - April 20, 2015. My seventeenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.
I am calling it off. I dissociate with you because I have had it enough of ranting and chanting your concepts of when to wake up, when to sleep and when to eat. I have come to terms with the fact that conformity to your standards is below my dignity and sanity. It was lately that I realized the threshold of my tolerance, and it has been stupid of my and my folks to have been ranting and chanting your concepts. You started when I was a kid, and you still mess with my head.
Remember the times when I was hurt, you did not console me. You came up with your famous adage - I Told You So. You did not allow me to make my own mistakes and learn from them. You did lend me a listening ear, but you listened more to judge me than to empathize with me. You did not leave a chance to belittle me for innocent mistakes I made. Never did I intend to hurt you, but you miraculously made it sound like that. I started living for your approval, and forgot who am I in real.
You fit in my plan of a perfect life, but now I will trail the path without any plans. I am somebody who is bejeweled with my set of perfect imperfections. I look for no one who does not love my ornamentation. So rather than struggling everyday for your acceptance, I quit. I will survive without you because searching acceptance in your eyes everyday is getting killed in anticipation. So from today, stating just now, I quit, I am calling it quit. I quit allowing your double standards to mess with my mind.
I quit deciding where to go. Have accepted not knowing where I am going.
"And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” – C. Joybell
P.S.: Quit, am Calling it Quit! for Q - April 20, 2015. My seventeenth post for the A to Z April Challenge.
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I loved this thank you! What a short sharp word 'quit' is ... always a time to quit that which does not serve us (in the best sense of the word). "I quit deciding where to go. Have accepted not knowing where I am going'. What a lovely attitude to have of 'unknowing'.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan
DeletePlanning is good but many a times it messes with what our true potential is.
Good to let the winds carry you :)
I loved every single sentence of this post.. Well done..
ReplyDeleteCheers
Thanks Geetika. :)
Deleteintense! great job! happy q day!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara for stopping by :)
DeleteGoing live with R in a short while :)
Oh, I hate the "I told you so" people.... Love your post though - the powerful quit - is simply necessary sometimes
ReplyDeleteAre those told you so clairevoyants?
DeleteI would even ignore clairevoyant ;)
Thanks for visiting :)
Oh the idea of a perfect world where everything done should be right. Bang on! Shine, you nailed it:)
ReplyDelete