Before you share on Social Media

Source: Google Search

We carry the world in our palm and we know what is happening in the world within minutes of an act. The power of social is immense, but there is a grim line that gyrates between sensational, responsible and funny!

Think of FakingNews.com - purely funny. It presents unverified information for virality. Knowing that it is an outright lie, we laugh and even share some of the updates. Here are the recent ones>>

• BREAKING: SIT requests SC to allow it to hire Arnab to investigate black money offenders. SIT members are really impressed with the way Arnab is able to grill his guests every night on his show.

• BREAKING: Bangalore based IT company introduces “Work-from-Bus” as traffic takes a turn for the worse. A popular tech startup in the IT city has started a trendy way for employees to work, as most of them often fail to reach office on time.

Being bombarded with information in various social touch-points, we are often taken with the sensational aspect of it. We do not cross check it but start becoming a part of a spree that allows for mindless hooliganism.

Most recent example is mocking Pakistan over gender issue. Pakistan has emerged as the world's second-worst country in terms of gender equality, according to the annual Global Gender Gap Report published by the World Economic Forum. Detailed information brings forth additional shocker - India's ranking fell from 101 out of 136 countries last year to 114 out of 142 countries this year.

Read the full article here>>

I noticed people responsibly sharing their thoughts on the gender issue while using Pakistan gender ranking news to substantiate their point - which is a good strategy. However those who mocked Pakistan need to move beyond comparing apples to oranges philosophy. What should bother us more? In such a scenario, I think India deserves a bigger mocking for not being able to sustain its position forget scaling up the ranking. This was just one example, but there are instances where we join the herd - without thinking much about what we to say. There are times when you can stay quite, it doesn't hurt.

Author's Note: Do you #Google (cross-check) any information (presented as a fact) on social media ? And even if it is a valid information, do you share the thought to bring out a sensational aspect of it or responsible aspect of it?

P.S.: The point to ponder is whether we even realise if we are made to like seemingly responsible story for a sensational purpose.

Xerox: A-to-Z Challenge [28 April 2014]

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“I was so disappointed that you did not want to perform at your uncle’s Sangeet function. Look at your cousin Palak, how confidently she gave her performance making your uncle proud. All the guests were asking me about your performance, and I felt so embarrassed.”, scolded a mother of 7 years Kriti.

“Mom, I wanted to do a stand-up comedian performance, something like we saw in Zurich during our vacation.” explained Kriti.

“I told you, that is not a girl thing. You are a girl, and there are some things that are not meant for them. Your dance teacher will be attending to you for extra hours in the coming three days so that you do not goof up the way you did last night.”

This was the conversation between a mother and her 7 years old daughter Kriti. This young girl gets to hear a lot about achievements of her peers, and a bunch of girls who loved dancing, singing, and getting indulged in girl stuff. All that Kriti’s parents wants is her to catch the best from all of them.

Kriti at a young age has a tight 'mechanical' schedule. She is back at 1:30 from school and after that she is paraded in various classes, right from dance to piano lessons to singing classes, everything was so girlie. She did not know what is girlie and what is not, but she did not like what she was supposed to do, she wanted something else.

Are parents trying to get the Xerox of a girlie girl, and not let her be what she is?

Badge : A-to-Z Challenge [April 2014]

Author's Note: I see many parents try to make them fit into a typical xerox of what according to them fits perfect in the frame. A boy should be blue and girl should be pink- why a boy can’t like pink and girl blue?

P.S.: If you are a boy, you should not wear pink, it is a girl's colour. A boy of 5 years told me that and all I wondered was who taught him gender segmentation?

P.P.S.: Thanks Shesha for quick edits.

Adam teasing - Do they have a say?

We have had innumerable examples of eve teasing. Today, my question to all the girls and guys, have you ever been involved in Adam teasing? Here are some confessions from guys: 

• Subir said, a  hooker approached him! And of-course it was kinda teasing session, whilst she asked chalega kya?
• Manas admitted being Adam teased, but did not divulge much information. But he said that initially it is more of a question on one's manhood, but then after sometime it is a feel good factor.
• Gagan was still thinking if that ever happened, and said damn man it never happened with me, and after that he seem a little disappointed.
• Sandeep said nope, never. I asked his to recall, but the answer was no.
• Someone anonymous had an elaborate take, where in a gang of girls were after this fair guy. It was not only they were calling him chikna, but also interrogated if he has a girlfriend. It took an awkward turn, and ultimately he called them didi, kicked his bike and left. Another instance he shared was more in terms of harassment, where he had to shout at this girl in a party to get rid of her.

I witnessed long long time ago, when I was out with a girl's gang. It was one of my friend's birthday and a hunk walked by at Eatopia, India Habitat Centre. All the girls hooted at the guy, who was seemingly pretty okay with it. As it was a crush at first sight for the birthday girl, one of the girls went ahead and got his number.

I have never been involved in Adam teasing, except for times when I indulge in a brief chat with friends if we get to cross past a hunk. And if the hunk happen to live in the vicinity of my friend, there is some grave moral pressure on that friend to know more about him, as this girl is single, ready to mingle.

Now the point to ponder, when does teasing become harassment? It is the limit till the recipient is playful and enjoying the commentary. There have been times when I enjoy being the recipient of someone's comment, as long as their intent is to compliment you in a playful fashion. The problem starts when it takes a form of an adult being bullied? When ever it crosses the comfort level of anyone, the comment becomes morally rotten.

Author's Note: We have laws against eve teasing, but do we have anything for the Adams being teased?

P.S.: Thanks to all those who came forth to share their brief encounters with Adam teasing.

Beware - Male Chauvinist Around

If you are a man and I call you a Male Chauvinist Pig, what will you understand of it? Would you, in the first place, get an idea of it?

I have found a stark contrast in the mentality of some educated men who can be totally balanced against the mentality of an abusive alcoholic husband. Both the categories fall in the segment of Male Chauvinist Pig.  Here comes what I have picked up about Male Chauvinist Pigs from my experience so far:

He lacks chivalry: He might have got together a few acts to impress you - he held the door for you while entering a restaurant. But what counts is if he will hold it while you exit.

He gives False Hopes: Knowingly he might give someone false hopes and wrong signals. And then suddenly tell you that I am confused!

He crosses the limits you set: If you have been setting limits, and he intrudes that space, then it is taken that he is a loser. A real man will allow a woman to go by her heart, and there can never be a case when one does not know one's limits - not just in action but also while talking.

Show-off runs in his blood: He has all the stuff to show off to the world, and ultimately would want to make you into a Barbie doll and flaunt you around. The day you gain weight, he will leave you!

Will be your appointed critic: He will tell you that you are wrong, either out-rightly or drop mild clues, almost for every action of your. He would criticize and say that since you are close he needs to tell you. He  will decide how many breaths you should take in an hour!

If you have noticed these clues in your boy, get your mind together girl, he can be a total mamma's boy. It is not that being a mamma's boy is wrong, but he will from the very start work towards building a fear in you about his mommy, just to indicate that you have to please her and be her slave. His mommy might not be bad.

For every argument that you will have with him, he might leave you in a state of big dilemma, totally making you feel sorry and get back to him. Rethink about it, do you really want to be with someone who wants to change you, who does not give you space to grow as an individual, but as an abla naari, who just cannot do without a man next to her.

P.S.: My friendly, unfriendly, no-more-friendly and Blocked being friendly encounters have taught me this. Although most of the times I get along well with guys, but the Chauvinists just pester me off, they are the Male Janaanis (Punjabi word for over-analytical women).

Author's Note: An abusive alcoholic man is better than an educated man with such a mental structure, for the reasons that he is honest with his mentality  and expresses it bluntly. An abusive alcoholic man can still be treated with psychological intervention, but hopes for a Male Chauvinist Pig are too bleak.

DMRC and the Women's Coach

It came as a blessing in disguise! All the ladies were happy that they will have a comfortable journey. The coach is comparitively less crowded. But, I was particularly upset about a ladies coach, considering that I would not be able to catch a glimpse of hunks around... It was rare to spot a hunk though! As time passed I realised that the ladies coach has more reasons to be upset about. 

I started getting use-to the comfort, and finally away from the uncomfortable gaze of those unpleasant men,who find it macho to pass that knowingly unknowing gesture. I remember fighting back, where the entire gamut of men reply, lar ke aayee hai ghar se (she must have fought with her family memebers)! or Kuch to nahi kiya usne madam (he did not do anything, Madam). or the guy hinself shouts  maine to kuch nahi kiya, kya kiya maine bolo? (I did not do anything, what did I do? can you tell me?) Yes I do tell them, I reply back, wanting to paste a tight slap on their faces.. Now, women are away from those insensible lot.

But don't assume that girls are good either. Its equally uncomfortable to listen to those aunties and and tolerate those ill-mannered girls, who refuse to move in to accommodate those standing on the platform, keep commenting about thenew generation girl-kind and what not! More so is the tendency to not letting others to deboard, but howling inside the train. No one is willing to leave their seat at the sight of an old lady. Men hoard inside the coach, and when you confront them, they fight back. there is no mechanism to complain about such lot. 

And what about the general compartment! The decent men are offended, and the other lot has garnered a licence to misbehave. The moment you get off the train, they try and brush off, as if now that they have been segmented, they have every right to misbehave. If at all a female enters, they start taunting them that they should get into the women coach. Huh!!!

Also about those who were punished to sit-up for some 50 times or so.. That was all the more disgusting act. What makes the authorities to humiliate the violators of law, what can allow them to punish them do such an embarrassing act? OK, so they have got inside the women coach, but then don't we have decent ways to punish, charge fine, or whatever?

Why segment the two genders? Isn't it socially challenging us and a tendency wherein the two equal parts of nature should be sensitised to behave and travel cordially?

Author's Note: Now the authorities are planning to add two more coaches to the trains, lets see how the six coach fare! Also there would be a connectivity between Mandi House and Central secretriat,  promising plans but humiliating Crowd Management Strategy... Sigh!