Matrimonial alliances in India (read Delhi) is the typical examples of materialism! Everything, right from the food, baarat, shaadi, exchange of gifts - the thin line that segments dowry, etc. should happen King sized. The sacred institutions puts the matrimonial alliances as paramount! A typical matrimonial alliance is initaited with social status, income and in some cases education! Family background, the spouses of prospective siblings also matter and finds place in the bio-data.
Once the proposal has been fixed, each of the party try to exhibit their superiority by pegging the maximum gifts, displaying it to the guests to gauge maximum praises. Gift are being extended in 'cash or kind' to even the insignificant relatives. They look out for opportunities and occasions to gift. And not to forget mentioning each splurging spree should be clicked in the camera.
Now comes the functions close to the wedding day! The elderly of the family will be the cashier, as s/he would be taking stock of cash transactions. Everything is being done with a bang, be it the Mehendi ceremony or the afternoon lunch. While the families come across as anti-dowry (which means that the groom side will not demand cash on the wedding day)!
All the demands would be however conveyed through loug mouthed relatives, and such gifts can follow after the wedding day. The girls family makes sure that at least a car is being gifted to the groom. While the groom expects that at least a flat in upmarket location should come along with the wagon.
All the demands would be however conveyed through loug mouthed relatives, and such gifts can follow after the wedding day. The girls family makes sure that at least a car is being gifted to the groom. While the groom expects that at least a flat in upmarket location should come along with the wagon.
Baarati's are high on liquor and shoot a cracker in air announcing their arrival. The Ghori wala during this time analyses the worth of allowing the groom to get down from the horse and asks for a hefty amount. This amount is not paid and the ghoriwala is being given anything between 200-500 bucks, or 1 grand in exceptional cases!
Now comes the bride loaded with heavy jewellery and embellished with a gorgeous lehenga. Not just the bride, all the girls attending the wedding are dressed in heavy attire as if their price charming will ride her away on the day!
Not to forget mentioning that the groom already had a girlfriend, but no guts to stand up for his love given the social status / threat of being excluded from the family etc. He had considered eloping with her girlfriend, but an arranged setup sounded good as he feels that he cannot give her everything. He is also lured into an arranged matrimonial alliance on the unsaid assumption that the girl he is getting married to belongs to a rich family and she should get good amount of gifts throughout her life!
Author's Note: Many guys are waiting for a huge bonanza in the form of such gifts. This at times makes me feel bad for the society. Really guys do, even those who seem decent, but such hypocrisy surmounts !
The extravagant money spent on Hindu marriages are just a show off.........
ReplyDeleteBut on the other side despite the belief that there should be no waste of money or time, marriage in India is seen as a once-in-a-lifetime occasion that has to be celebrated properly.........
The extravagance is to make the girl feel more secure and happy by enjoying the ceremony like mehndi n all so as to get all the fear from her heart out n make her feel dat she is getting the best bride available in the world,
ReplyDeletethe problems start at the demant of dowry wen in front in-laws say nothing bt at last point or to say once geil reaches home the torture gets started.
marriage’s in India are big occasion for families and more importantly for those who are getting married , families are trying to do there best not just because they want happiness for there children’s but they want to avoid social embarrassment ... if one want to spend on his /her marriage no can stop him but do not associate your spending with your status or try to set a benchmark for the society
ReplyDeleteI agree.seems like there is no such place for middle class families to find a decent guy for their daughters.people become calculative even in finding a relationship for life. these matters shd be handled through heart for a successful marriage rather than accumulating few rupees in ur pocket which could get finished anytime.
ReplyDeleteSuch is society. Is there still a term called soul mates or has it lost its meaning behind glitters of marriages
@Kundan - Celebrations is a different thing all together.. The problem emerges when ppl splurge jut to show off their superiority
ReplyDelete@Abhishek: This is unfortunate that dowry practices exists and ppl kill/beat up newly wed girl for money.. Seems they feel that they have got hold of a lottery.. Just beat her up and get money!! Such ppl are really PIGS
ReplyDelete@Vikas: Yeah I agree.. spending at wedding should not spend benchmarks.. I feel that this is a prevalent practice, ppl want to showof, but morally, mentally they are living in narrow chambers
ReplyDeletetht was a hard one...nice post :)
ReplyDeletevery nice n very true...... Indian system of marraiges is just a show off ........
ReplyDelete