Monday, 28 April 2014

Xerox: A-to-Z Challenge [28 April 2014]

Source: http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
“I was so disappointed that you did not want to perform at your uncle’s Sangeet function. Look at your cousin Palak, how confidently she gave her performance making your uncle proud. All the guests were asking me about your performance, and I felt so embarrassed.”, scolded a mother of 7 years Kriti.

“Mom, I wanted to do a stand-up comedian performance, something like we saw in Zurich during our vacation.” explained Kriti.

“I told you, that is not a girl thing. You are a girl, and there are some things that are not meant for them. Your dance teacher will be attending to you for extra hours in the coming three days so that you do not goof up the way you did last night.”

This was the conversation between a mother and her 7 years old daughter Kriti. This young girl gets to hear a lot about achievements of her peers, and a bunch of girls who loved dancing, singing, and getting indulged in girl stuff. All that Kriti’s parents wants is her to catch the best from all of them.

Kriti at a young age has a tight 'mechanical' schedule. She is back at 1:30 from school and after that she is paraded in various classes, right from dance to piano lessons to singing classes, everything was so girlie. She did not know what is girlie and what is not, but she did not like what she was supposed to do, she wanted something else.

Are parents trying to get the Xerox of a girlie girl, and not let her be what she is?

Badge : A-to-Z Challenge [April 2014]
Author's Note: I see many parents try to make them fit into a typical xerox of what according to them fits perfect in the frame. A boy should be blue and girl should be pink- why a boy can’t like pink and girl blue?

P.S.: If you are a boy, you should not wear pink, it is a girl's colour. A boy of 5 years told me that and all I wondered was who taught him gender segmentation?

P.P.S.: Thanks Shesha for quick edits.

36 comments:

  1. Haha you are most welcome... those are amazing thoughts and it runs in many families! I am glad we live in free world (our families)! :))

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    1. Yes. Indeed. Sometimes I see outside factors influencing such mentality. TV ads, product packaging and peer on peer talks. Families should tell kids to own their choices with confidence.

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  2. As someone who is transgender, this both broke my heart and made me really happy-- broke my heart for Kitri, and made me happy that others are pointing out that not every "girl" is "girly" and not every "boy" is "boyish" and that there's a spectrum and a range of things for everyone, regardless of gender!

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    1. I view it as a humanitarian thing. And it really breaks my heart when a girl asks for a toy car and her parent tell her politely tht is it a boy toy. Tht could be just a tact to say no but the reason given influences her choices

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  3. It does bother me when parents put kids in gender boxes: what girls should do/like and what boys should do/like. Whoever decided these things were for a single sex? When I have a daughter, I'll paint her room blue! ;)

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    1. Breaking these sterotypes is the key. Black and Blue are my favourite colour and I have an aversion towards pinks and reds. I am glad that I did not let anything dictate my choices.

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  4. X is a tough one, isn't it? I love the way you used Xerox here, though. My sister believes there should be no gender divide. Therefore, her son regularly goes through the world with polished fingernails. I've noticed you never see him in dresses, though...so there IS some gender divide, whether we like it or not!

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    1. X was tough. I chose xenophobia too but it did not come out well. That is so thoughtful of your sister. Boys have limited options to dress up, i am sure some boy kids like girl dresses. My girl cousin was gifted a dress and her brother loved her dress. ;)

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  5. Every child seems to know these stereotypes. It is really annoying. We teach our children from the very beginning that we are different. The worst is when children think that it is only the mother who can/should cook. This xeroxing must stop.

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    1. Thank you Nisha for the cooking example. Xeroxing must stop! Totally

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  6. ghar ghar ki kahani.. well gender divide is common indeed but assuming and sticking to what boys/girls must do is so unnecessary

    PhenoMenon
    http://throodalookingglass.com/2014/04/xyst/

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    1. True. The most disturbing one is that a boy/man can perform cremation ceremony. I visited haridwar for my grandfather's last rites and the priest said to my father that only man should perform last rites. Women should not be there. But I stood there.

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  7. I don't understand why they thunk that liking pink is girlish and liking blue is boyish. The. New generation is breaking this stereotype and I m glad about that! Ones actions should never decode the gender.

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    1. Embedded generalisations is the word my friend!

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  8. An important message in today's post. It is indeed mindboggling to see how parents can put so much pressure on their kids to make them fit into a certain stereotypical moulds. To force young children to behave in a certain way because they are a girl or a boy can be so limiting for their potential to shine through.

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    1. Totally agree. The biggest irony is when people praise movies like 3 idiots and do exactly what should not be done to mold their kids.

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  9. Sigh.. more parents than I would care to admit fall prey to this. For my part, my daughter plays tennis and loves to dance. She loves jeans and ethnic skirts. She loves to read and play rough and tumble with the boys. I think what we allow them to do, will shape their choices effectively. And watching her dad cook a spectacular meal in the kitchen is a wonderful thing. Plus, it is a bonus for me ;)

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    1. Nice. Allowing kids to follow their choices is the key :)

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  10. I dont know but in India too much distinction is made between a boy and a girl. It is so disgusting. Slowly some change is coming but it still quite deep rooted in our system.

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    1. I agree wt you. We do see change but it will take time to transform :)

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  11. oh yes I see this always everywhere. Even where kids grow up together I find them segregating at a very young age and doing girly things and boy things.

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    1. Exactly. Parents do it without seeing long term psychological consequences.

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  12. Quite a thought provoking post . Ya there are many such parents around us. Wish they come back to senses
    Thanks for reading my blog :)
    dropping by from a to z

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  13. I was lucky enough to be blessed with a son and a daughter. If my son or daughter wanted to try something like dance, then I was all for it. You have to let them make their own choices in life. It can't be about the parents in my opinion.

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  14. its good to start visit to a blog site at its last stage. X is good read

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  15. THat was really a good one Shine! Gender differences start right at birth, don't they.

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  16. Gender stereotypes is a sad reality. Its time we challenge and break these stereotypes!

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    1. Thanks for your comment, I agree wt you.

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  17. Since my favorite color has been blue for as long as I can remember, I definitely agree we shouldn't have to like a color (or anything else) based on gender.

    The title of my post for X also had Xerox in it. I wonder how many other A to Z posts used that word today, too. :-)

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    1. Double hi five. Mine is blue too n on xerox post :)

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  18. Lovely take! Too many parents want their kids to be like someone else...And they lose their creativity and themselves in the process. It's important to let them be what they want to be!

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    1. It starts from the stage when they do not even know who they (kids) are. It is when kids are discovering the options available to them.

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