Despite having someone willing to accept you for the way you are, why do you not love? What is it that stops you to fall in love?
It could stem from your fear to allow someone enter a space that has been reserved or is it because you fear the consequences of falling in love, investing emotions and fearing what if it falls apart. The sooner you get attached to someone, the greater and hard hitting would be the falling apart phase. That is to think beyond the looks and the package a person brings, you need time to know that person.
The moment you get attached to a person, for whatever qualities, consider to question yourself - Is it an intrinsic quality or a fancy package? And for a fancy package you will not know until you unpack it. Does that intrinsic quality that this person bring gel well with my ideologies? or will you have to compromise on your identity? There are red flag situations - a fancy package and the compromise!
The biggest turn off is when a person starts to indicate that you will have to compromise being yourself in order to be with the other. If s/he wants to you change now, then it will be no surprise if s/he will have you as a puppet for life - telling you what to wear, what to speak and what to eat. There is nothing wrong about having a set of expectations for that someone special, but it is better to have those expectations inbuilt in a person than to customize an already existing person into someone you want.
P.S.: Love counts amongst the things that are as important as being alive. Stop giving into societal considerations to fit in someone as an ideal partner - fat, dark, traditional or whatever.... Society is a set of herd - sick, stinking and pathetic. The day you accept the person, stop directing your actions based on set conventions, will be the day when society will focus its attention elsewhere!
Author's note: And if someone is telling you, from one's experience, that there is not a single thing good about being in love or being married, here's something to focus your thoughts on: We sing more loudly when the person we love is far away and whisper poems when he is near. In a nutshell, critics exist everywhere to talk ill about anything under the sun but good things are kept hidden for the evil eyes of the world.
It could stem from your fear to allow someone enter a space that has been reserved or is it because you fear the consequences of falling in love, investing emotions and fearing what if it falls apart. The sooner you get attached to someone, the greater and hard hitting would be the falling apart phase. That is to think beyond the looks and the package a person brings, you need time to know that person.
The moment you get attached to a person, for whatever qualities, consider to question yourself - Is it an intrinsic quality or a fancy package? And for a fancy package you will not know until you unpack it. Does that intrinsic quality that this person bring gel well with my ideologies? or will you have to compromise on your identity? There are red flag situations - a fancy package and the compromise!
The biggest turn off is when a person starts to indicate that you will have to compromise being yourself in order to be with the other. If s/he wants to you change now, then it will be no surprise if s/he will have you as a puppet for life - telling you what to wear, what to speak and what to eat. There is nothing wrong about having a set of expectations for that someone special, but it is better to have those expectations inbuilt in a person than to customize an already existing person into someone you want.
P.S.: Love counts amongst the things that are as important as being alive. Stop giving into societal considerations to fit in someone as an ideal partner - fat, dark, traditional or whatever.... Society is a set of herd - sick, stinking and pathetic. The day you accept the person, stop directing your actions based on set conventions, will be the day when society will focus its attention elsewhere!
Quite agree when you say, "good things are kept hidden for the evil eyes of the world". It does not apply to a relationship of a married couple only but every other relationship or things in the world. But at times, it gets quite tough for extrovert souls to not let their heart out once in a while, but these days I guess they have mellowed down when it comes to discussing the brighter side of a married life. Every relation that you 'choose', be it marriage or friendship, it's a gamble. You may not necessarily win or lose, it just goes on with time. Don't know for good or not.
ReplyDeleteAs always, loved reading your post.
@Manan- :D
ReplyDelete@Anupriya: Agreed.. It's a discovery, with time you learn and grow. With time you realise who is worth discussing your happiness with!
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